So now I am teaching

Well I have now been teaching for a month and a half. My god I have never been so busy in all my freaking life. I don't even see the end to all this craziness...will it ever end, please?

I am so slow at getting my act together, but then I am teaching only .75, however I actually teach more due to split classes and suiting the different grade levels=Foods 7/8/9 (3 classes to plan for, but is only programmed at 1), English 7/8 (again 2 seperate plans, but in a single class, and Social Studies 10-1 & 10-2 (again taught in one class period, but needing two entirely seperate plans, assignmnets, notes, and 2 texts for me to read....also as a new curriculum I have absolutely no support...LOL)

I have missed my nephew and nieces birthdays, what a freaking jerk, and I have not gotten presents for them as well as my little cousins birthday that I attended. I feel like a real class act! Hayden's birthday is also coming up and I have done pretty much nothing. I feel like a negligent parent. How am I going to get this together. I must really get more time managed or else put more time in....who needs sleep anyways?

As for teaching it is so freaking awesome. Wow I can't believe I get to do this.

Relief and anxiety are mixed in how I feel about the fall

Well as the fall creeps closer I am feeling both relief and anxiety. Wendy came over and helped me to figure out how to plan for a Junior High English Class. I have started getting this organized but cannot go to far as I am unsure of resources at this time. I might just start compiling a variety of resources.

I am anxious on how I will cope with an entire year of teaching as I have never done that before. I know how busy and stressed I was during my students teaching phase. I guess I will just have to pace myself or starty drinking heavily.LOL

I will sign off and get my butt in gear with planning

Leah

I am sooo confused

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.I am not sure if it is just being finally finished university and facing the "real" world or if I am just a freak...LOL

I have attained a job, which is great but there are always drawbacks....it is a "part-time" 0.75 position, which I thought would be more full-time (not sure really if it will not turn in to that). So it also is a hour and 10 minute drive from my house, which is not a huge deal to me but the cost in gas is what now has me bugging out. It will roughly cost me $600 a month just for gas....so with a part-time position and potential pay I will be making nothing....I have to pay the $1200 a month daycare for the kids, which is fair seeing that Fred pays for everything else, but than tacking on $600 in gas is a bit of a squeezer.

I am sooo confused and overwhelmed with all these decisions along with not knowing exactly what I am teaching, when and whether I will have my own class. I am also unsure how to plan....how will the classes work in the end (they are split classes).

Yeah so I just needed to vent, but maybe I would feel better if i got some bloody unit planning done.

Leah

Well things are much, much better

So My friends,

I am better. A good chat and some veiled threats to Fred have left me feeling much happier.LOL No kidding, well maybe not. Anyways we have come to an agreement on the end of his "fantasy" world as well as if he strays I will be worse than lorraine Bobbit on his ass.

So I thought I would just make sure that was updated.

Leah

I am at an extreme low

Oh god....Well I caught Fred looking at porn on the internet. Now I am not talking a little looking, I am talking a whole lot. Well I feel like that is really sick and it makes me really insecure.

But I can't stop thinking now that he could be cheating on me, or has or does, or whatever. I am losing my mind with the pain of it...I cannot deal with lying men. I had too much pain before and I cannot do this again...

I did ask him and he said "no I couldn't do that I would feel tooo guilty"....but they all say that.

Anyway I am hurting but see no end because I don't know if I will ever trust him....I feel so betrayed.

Leah

Well still no job

I am getting a little edgy lately. I really would like to have a job. I know I can substitute, but I just don't think its my style.

I have a interview at Montana Community School on Monday but we drove out there on our way back to the city after the wedding we attended this weekend, an the roads were totally horrendous. The roads are mainly sand with no Gravel so they are full of huge holes and are way too bumpy. They also do not have drainage so the roads are swampy...It ends up taking 20 minutes on my drive time to get to the school from Ermin skin. Not very good. So I really will not be able to take the job if I get it. This is summer which is the best driving conditions so I would hate to see the winter.

Anyways, I asked the eight ball on my facebook profile page and it assured me I would get a job this week.LOL

Leah

Got my new X-Trail

So I finally picked up my X-trail. Really sweet. I am a little nervous right now though about paying for it. I just want a job already....or potential jobs. I applied for 3 jobs today. All are out of town though so I will wait and see. Fred is not crazy about it..."you are going to run your new vehicle to death". Whatever, I just need to get a bloody job and if that means outside the city than that is what I need to do.

I just want to be done already

Well I am "kind of" done school as I only have to finish one computer course, which I am doing right now. But like a turd I never caught on to the fact that I needed to have 3 written references from people regarding my skills as a teacher or potential for teaching. I also need to write cover letters and an autobiographical statement. YUCK!!

Well I should be doing my autobiographical statement right now as I am on the computer, but I find I am losing my motivation today. I did however successfully complete my resume today to Fred's standards...my god he was eying my minute formatting "faux pas". Well most of its done, but now I need to hit people up for letters of references and I have no idea how many will actually want to do this. Damn! If I had any sense I would have looked at this stuff earlier and then got them done as soon as someone offered.

On another note Aaryanna gave me a lovely brooch for mother's day...she drew a picture of me in a ballerina tutu with tights.LOL.Sooo cute. I even have painted nails.LOL She was sooo proud and so am I. I am going to wear it everywhere and then maybe put it in my new car to look at all the time.

Leah

I am done

Well maybe I should rephrase that....I am really, really close to being done.

I am trying to slap together a resume and also have applied for my teacher certification. Yeah I sure hope this will be done soon so I can move ahead in to something else.

So I am now in my second week

My God. I have started taking over the Social Studies 13 class and let me tell you I am strongly whacking myself in the head for going in to teaching. Possibly I am overwhelmed and these kids are just whacked.

As I may have posted last week (not sure I can remember), I had my first class where I was officially in charge of this class. Well needless to say I was not in charge, the students were. It was beyond out of control. So this week I decided I would give them my "tough teacher" spiel. They were better, but only marginally.

I feel that the students really do not view me as a "legitimate" teacher and therefore feel no need to give me any respect whatsoever. Class room management class certainly does not cover this. The beauty of all this is that if I admit defeat I am a failure, if I ask for more guidance I am a failure. I really do not feel that my mentor teacher is supporting me.

I watched my mentor teacher with these kids and he basically lets them do whatever they want and then plays like he has been in control. I on the other hand would like them to learn. He started an assignment with them last week when I started where they were to have 3 days to complete a group assignment (more than enough time to finish this assignment). Well 3 days turned in to 4 days and then they were given the weekend to complete it on their own time. So today when I get there they are asking to have more time. My Mentor Teacher asks me with the student there what I think (remember I had them Friday and they completely were nuts and screwing around the 1 1/2 hour class. So I said "No, I do not think you should have any more time"....well needless to say my mentor teacher says "okay you can have the last half hour to work on your assignment. What the f%#.

What is truly ironic is that he recommends tomorrow when I am to mark their assignment (power point and speeches, poster, and newspaper ad) I should "praise their work and mark them easy". Sounds like a brilliant way to reward them for doing nothing. Great message for them to understand the realities of the world.

Anyways, I really hope tomorrow is better. I am really ready to approach the vice-principal for guidance or my University Facilitator, however this may just make me look incompetent and irritate my mentor teacher. HELP!

Leah

Yeah First Day is Over!!!

So my first day is over. I have had a great day and feel I will really enjoy my teaching post. My mentor teacher seems to be good and I hope to have a lot of fun. He actually is going to let me take over the class for a few days without him in there so that I get comfortable before he observes me. I love it!

I am kind of surprised with the cleverness of the students. My last school seems to have been a little "slower" in the intelligence scale, but they were awesome too. ANyways I will add when I get anything more exciting.

Leah

Aaryanna is now stuck on getting old

On sunday I spent the day shopping with mom and the kids. As we sat in the food court Aaryanna got on the subject of getting older (she is only 5). So Mom told her yes we all would get old one day....really old. SO Aaryanna is looking around the mall food court seeing all these really decrpit old people. Well needless to say my five year old was extremely depressed to think of these prospects that we all face. She actually was overwhelmingly sad.

So she still is asking me today (monday) about getting old. She is like, "I will be a Doctor and then I will fix people so they don't have to get old"....so bloody cute she is. Well chat soon

Leah

Okay so I am done my ridiculous unit plan...welll sort of

Okay so I have had sooooo much work in the past 5 weeks I am ready to pull all my f$@&ing hair out and quit the idea of teaching, well almost.

My professor that has been teaching us has given ridiculoulsy confusing and detailed assignmnets. I have done OKAY but always recieve the same mark. It does not matter how much effort I put in I always get the same bloody mark. This leads me to the question of why do I continue to put sooo much effort into my assignments if I know I am going to get the same average bloody mark(my marks have certainly not been astounding, nor have they been failures).

So anyways I have completed all that I am going to do for my unit plan. Stuff is missing such as teachers notes, etc, but the main stuff is their. I have put probably a hundred hours into this bloody thing and it is only for 60hrs of study...but thats teaching. What is so disheartening is that so many people do not realize all the time and effort that goes in to teaching...there goes my whine.

Anyways, I am done to as much as I am going to do and then I will hand it in tomorrow and be free, free at last. Yeah!

So wish me bloody good luck and hope I get some ridiculously high mark.

Leah

I have a placement for teaching

Okay so I now know where I am going to teach....Bev Facey. I am a little nervous to say the least. I really hoped to be placed outside the area in which I live. I just hate the idea of running into people I teach as a "student" because it seems weird...no real expertise in which to have a state of grandeur...LOL

Now my second little reserve is that my Mentor teacher teaches 2 classes of advanced placement(The "smart" kids) and so it breaks down to 13, 20AP, 30, 30 AP. They have this little understanding to that teachers who teach the academic subjects tend to hoard their "smart"students and especially their 30 (grade 12 students) because of exams (diploma's).

So maybe it will actually be an easy term because he will only let me teach the 13's which is totally fine with me. LOL

And now I am also worried about my clothes....I need to lose weight really, really fast. I hardly fit most of my stuff because I have gotten sooooooooo fat. AAAAHHHHHH!!

Well wish me luck and hope I get smart quick. I totally have to do a cram seesion of studying my university courses.LOL

Leah

I am smart, I am smart, I am smart!

Life is moving on quickly

So I have to admit I have done very little about telling my professor to watch his mouth. This has been a great dilemma and I feel like such a little failure. I had a bad experience last semester and the drama goes on where I feel I definetley recieved an unfair grade, so now I am afraid to face this again.

I have been working diligently towards finishing my assignments and I am relieved that I am in fact getting them done.

The water leak we had on the front of our property is fixed and paid for by the county so Fred and I are breathing much easier.I am sooo excited as I have 3 weeks and 3 days to go before I am finished my school part and get to move in to teaching. Hurray!

Well that is all for now.

leah

So we keep getting a totally un-politically correct class

So not only are my classmates complete idiots so is my professor. He keeps making sexist/racist type statements that I continue to find more and more offensive. Anyways some may find me touchy, but hey I am entitled to my opinion. So my professor likes to keep speaking about things as "motherhood" ideas....what the F!@## is a "motherhood" idea????? I'm a mother and I don't know what that is.

So that is one little thing and next is the calling of Canadian aboriginals or First Nations people as "natives". I did have a discussion with Fred about this and we discussed that it may be just us that think that there are negative connotations and I certainly would never, never call a First Nations or talk to First Nations about being a "native".

Also consider his description of racism between a group of "black" and a "brown" kid. Well the professor knew the one kid was East Indian so why did he not just say that, why "brown"? Also, he also stated on another time that we did not have to worry so much about the ethnic groups or immigrants but that the Jehovah Witnesses were a real problem for Social Studies teachers as they did not believe in government, etc. Well I frankly say this is wrong. They are the "problem"? We supposedly have freedom of religion etc and the right to chose NOT to participate in government...one of the reasons Mennonites came up to Canada from the US was Canada allowed them to refrain from fighting as they were pacifists. So how can this guy feel it is acceptable for himself to single out all these people...remember I have only been in the class for 5 days and I already have seen numerous occasions of intolerant language.Well I will see if I am fighting the good fight. Cheers to all the people who refuse to accept such mediocrity.
Anyways I just had to vent.

Leah

I don't know why I am still amazed by the pin heads in education

Well so I have to share my amazement at how stupid and ignorant some of the "future" teachers I come across in my Education degree. I was exposed to another day full of group work. It has been somewhat interesting to encounter some new people as generally you seem to get a lot of the same people you had before in your classes. Anyways I had a group today of individuals I largely have not really talked to before today.

So when we get in this group project we are supposed to come up with opening activities that get the students interests to study about CULTURE. As we bounce some ideas around....mainly most of these pinheads are way bloody off topic(not on a different subject but not where they should be in this subject) ,which is pretty scary considering we go out to teach in 5 weeks.


Well this guy in my group says about his idea that it was "gay" and he quickly covered his mouth. Well we joked and I said jokingly that he better watch out for political correctness as that was not acceptable language. Anyways we move on and they are talking about using games to go over information students need in their finals. This guy again comments that he would go about it by separating the class in the "girls against the boys". Well I quickly jump in good natured that he seemed to be having trouble with being politically correct. Well everyone in the group looked at me in bafflement and asked in unison what was wrong with that. Well in all of my learning as well as personal beliefs, separating the genders is extremely negative and perpetuates a rivalry between sexes that we in Education should be trying to get rid of.

Well anyways when I quickly reinforced my position they all looked at me like I had two heads and was some bitchy feminist out to get them and I was completely out to lunch. Well yes I am a feminist, but what I was saying is not unreasonable. I did not ask to put men down and elevate women only to not make a categorising of gender in the classroom to compete against each other.

So after all this they totally gave me the cold shoulder and virtually excluded me with dirty looks and ignoring my comments. Jerks! they also took their crap ideas and presented them to the class, which were not warmly taken by the class or professor....duh dummies. So yeah just had to share.

Leah

I am going back to school for my last term...HURRAY!

Well it is just about that time again....back to school. I am excited as this is my last term of school. I also get to do my APT student teaching this term which shortens my time at the U of A and gets me closer to my final goal of teaching.

Hayden is sick today and I am crossing my fingers that he gets better quick as again I am starting school tomorrow. I think I should start wearing garlic to make sure I don't catch anything in the next 4 months.LOL

Tuesday my cousin Debbie is also coming in from Hinton so that is also another reason to be excited it is January.

Well sorry I just keep being soooo exciting. I hope something wonderful comes for the New Year. Yeah!!!! Like a job for me that pays me lots of money, massive weight loss without sickness and a beautiful bag of cash to make me rich!!! LOL well I can dream can't I?

Leah