I am at an extreme low

Oh god....Well I caught Fred looking at porn on the internet. Now I am not talking a little looking, I am talking a whole lot. Well I feel like that is really sick and it makes me really insecure.

But I can't stop thinking now that he could be cheating on me, or has or does, or whatever. I am losing my mind with the pain of it...I cannot deal with lying men. I had too much pain before and I cannot do this again...

I did ask him and he said "no I couldn't do that I would feel tooo guilty"....but they all say that.

Anyway I am hurting but see no end because I don't know if I will ever trust him....I feel so betrayed.

Leah

Well still no job

I am getting a little edgy lately. I really would like to have a job. I know I can substitute, but I just don't think its my style.

I have a interview at Montana Community School on Monday but we drove out there on our way back to the city after the wedding we attended this weekend, an the roads were totally horrendous. The roads are mainly sand with no Gravel so they are full of huge holes and are way too bumpy. They also do not have drainage so the roads are swampy...It ends up taking 20 minutes on my drive time to get to the school from Ermin skin. Not very good. So I really will not be able to take the job if I get it. This is summer which is the best driving conditions so I would hate to see the winter.

Anyways, I asked the eight ball on my facebook profile page and it assured me I would get a job this week.LOL

Leah